Super Special Snowflake – Part II

For even more super-awesome great reading check out part I: What Makes me the Super Special Snowflake I AM.

Ladies and Gentlemen, prepare to be amazed at the memories that created the beautiful spectacle you read before you.  Or, at least partially amused and somewhat titillated.  Well, in all honesty, a piece of chocolate would probably certainly be better, but I’ going to write these things down anyway because it is my blog and I can do what I want.

I’m exploring and listing the significant memories in my life that led to me being who I am.  Please follow along below and feel free to laugh and point, I promise you won’t hurt my feelings.  Well, maybe a little you monster!

For me there are a couple categories that I would place memories into: personal good, personal bad, good experience, bad experience, sexual and emotional.  I’m going to list some of the main ones that have made me, well, me.

1. Personal Good: When I was a youngster my Grandpa would tell us bedtime stories.  He didn’t need any books to entertain us, oh no.  He would regale us with tales that I’m sure were at least 30% made up but it didn’t matter.  Whether he was telling us about hunting bears or running away from corrupt New York mobsters in a structure his construction company was building, I was always enthralled.  More than a little bit of my personality and my decision making process stems from him and these late night stories.  There is no story that sticks out more than the other, but I do have one snapshot of his weathered face lit up as he entered the most interesting part.  I love that memory.

2. Personal Bad: When I was in the Army I attended many, many schools.  Generally I was pretty good at them, it’s the army after all; if you are in shape, you pay attention and are able to sneak some red-bulls in then you will be fine.  However, there was one class that I went to that I was very excited about but I failed miserably the first day.  I don’t know what happened, I barely remember anything after I epically failed in front of hundreds of peers, but I do remember laying on the ground after falling about 20 feet.  Looking up at rope pointing up to a dark sky while an instructor told me to get my dumb ass down into gaggle with the rest of the losers.  I have never felt so much shame.

3. Good Experience: My wife and I had been dating for about a year, give or take and it was the Forth of July.  I was dropping her off at her house and we had our first kiss.  It was quick and sweet.  The experience that I remember in relation to this kiss wasn’t necessarily how she felt or how obviously good at it I was, but more how easy it was.  We both kind of fell right into it and it felt right.  Realizing that we were on the same wavelength was an amazing feeling.

4. Bad Experience:  Back when I was younger I remember my mom coming into the kitchen where my brother and I were playing.  She was holding a towel in her hand and in the towel was a kitten.  It was one of the kittens our lovely white cat had just had but it had been run over by a car.  It was still alive but it was dying, it was early enough that no places were open and they were all over half and hour away.  My brother and I pet the little guy and tried to make him at least some what comfortable before he died.  Every time I see people stomping around on ants or being mean to anything, human or animal, that kitten comes to mind.  Except for spiders of course.  All spiders must DIE!!!

5. Sexual:  One of the most stimulating sexual memories I have is when I saw Jensen Ackles of the TV show Supernatural for the first time. Just kidding (kind of). Before my wife and I were married, we were both virgins and we were both waiting until we were married.  Of course, the closer we were the harder it became (yet another harder joke).  There was one time, we were “watching” a movie late one night.  We were alone and we had somehow found ourselves sitting together on the same couch and soon we were making out pretty hard (ahhhh, penis on the brain).  Things became hotter and hotter until I turned and suddenly she was on my lap, straddling me.  We had never been in this position before; the heat moving between us was unbelievable.  I honestly don’t know how we did it, but we both calmed ourselves down and she slid back down to the couch.  This memory sticks out as it was the first time I allowed myself to see her in a sexual light.  The whole universe was on fire!!!

6. Emotional:  Even though I have always been emotional; crying at every movie I have ever seen for example.  There are times it does not present its self in a way I expect.  My Grandma dying was the first time I had lost someone I was close to (I was around 7).  I expected tears and a wave of emotions to come crushing down on top of me; but nothing happened.  Oddly, I did not feel much of anything.  I knew she had been fighting cancer and it had been long and painful.  I knew that she knew what she believed and in the end I decided that I was happy for her.  It was interesting to learn the difference between emotion and practicality in terms of how much I love them and what it is that I truly believe about what the purpose of this crazy world it.

These six will do it for now.  I hope you all have a great weekend!

Ray

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10 comments

  1. Your personal bad sounds terrible. You already felt terrible enough and then to have him shame you even more. I’m sorry that you experienced that!! I, too, feel really terrible (as much as I don’t like them) even when an insect in being stomped on. And animals. OMG. Breaks my heart! But I am with you. ALL spiders MUST die!!! 🔪🔫🔨💣 lastly, the connection you have with your wife seems truly beautiful! It’s refreshing to see! -oh, and that took some extreme will power on both of your parts! 😂😂😂

    • It’s the Army, they like to yell. I mostly just couldn’t believe I had failed so horribly. Living and learning. It did take quite a bit of will power. In retrospect, we should have just eloped earlier but it is what it is. We are having fun to make up for it now.

      • I wouldn’t say that you had failed. You had an off day. They shouldn’t have been so hard on you. I get that it’s the military, but I’m pretty sure that most of the people in the military would have been beating themselves up already for not doing as well as they wanted to do. No need to top it off. :/ haha, eloping would have taken the anticipation and excitement out of it!

      • True, sometimes they can be a bit harsh. Most of the time there is a method to the madness. Overall, I think I loved my time the Army. If I ever started working out hard again it would be hard not to go back in. Ohh we had enough anticipation. We had been going out for a few years and engaged for over a year. we were fairly bursting at the seams.

      • Holy crap! That’s a long time! It’s incredible that you two were able to have such a strong connection after that long without sex.. That’s an amazing foundation that you all built! I guess it makes sense that they are the way that they are. What did you love most about being in the army?

      • It was a looooooong time. I think the things I loved the most were 1. The relationships with other soldiers, it doesn’t matter if I don’t see some of those guys for 50 years, we’ll be able to pick up right where we left. 2. being able to affect the world. Especially when I was on a deployment it was nice to go on a mission and know I doing things. Turning on the news and seeing things I was apart of was a lot of fun and 3. finally, I just understood and enjoyed the culture.

      • I guess we don’t really think about there being more to the army than war and death. I can imagine the connections you must make with your fellow soldiers when you are all the other has. You definitely did make a difference and I think that deep down that’s every good human’s ultimate goal in life.

      • There are so many parts to life and things in this world that are complex. That’s one of the best things there is. Discovering new things. That was one of the things that was great about the army and marriage, it opened up whole new worlds.

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