Zombies on Challenger – Part I (Part III of the Ongoing, Amazing Zombie Saga)

Part I: Zombies on Sawtooth

Part II: Zombies on Bierstadt

“Those zombie dicks!!”

I threw the phone across the room and fell to my knees in defeat.  For the second time this week my favorite local pizza place had called to inform me that my pizza would be late because the delivery guy had been eaten.

My life was falling apart.

I was curling myself into the fetal position when there was a knock on the door.  Mustering all my will I wiped the tears from my face and crawled over to the entryway.  When I opened the door all I saw was a pizza box on the ground; puzzled I brought it inside and opened it.  There was no pizza, only a few fingers from what I believed to have been my delivery man and on the top of the box, written in blood was one word.  Challenger.

I dropped the box to the floor and ignored the fingers that went bouncing everywhere.  A message; The message.  The message I had been waiting for the past few months was finally here.  The ghost that had given my uncle, my cousin and I a quest had finally sent his next otherworldly communication; we were to go to Mt. Challenger and see what trails and trials awaited us.  The quest to find the zombie cure could continue.  I called up my cousin and informed him of this new information.  As expected, he was ecstatic; winter was just around the corner and getting in one more hike before the snow started to fly in earnest was welcome news.

The next day we loaded up my Tercel and headed into the mountains.  We stopped in Buena Vista along the way for some cheeseburgers and who would we find at the counter, non other than my uncle!  We gasped in shock and amazement; we had thought him to be dead as the last time we had seen him was when he was stuck in some willow bushes, firing his leg/shotgun at a horde of zombies as they descended upon him.  We hadn’t actually seen him die as we had left him before we became lunch as well.

He looked okay.  He was now missing his left arm in addition to his right leg.  He had replaced the arm with a metal contraption that could alternate between walking stick and binoculars.  He looked ridiculous.

After we recovered from our initial shock of finding him alive he filled us in on the rest of his harrowing adventure.  After we had run off he had expended all of his ammunition into the horde of zombies, lowering their numbers from the high two hundreds to the middling high two hundreds.  For a moment he thought he was a goner, then he remembered the small gas engine that he had in his backpack.   He wasn’t sure why he had packed it but now he had an idea.  With the zombies closing in he attached the motor onto the wheel that acted as his right foot, then he took wheel and flared it out so it could act as a spinning, whirling blade of death.  There were so many body parts flying everywhere once the zombies had made it to him, it wasn’t until afterwards that he realized that one of them had been his own.

All in all he seemed to be taking the loss of his two limbs rather well and we invited him to come with us as we attempted to continue our quest and climb Challenger.  He seemed reluctant at first but once we promised to not leave him behind he agreed.  Sucker.

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