The Hot Tub of Love?

My family and I live in an apartment complex.  It is pretty nice, I think, and the management here takes really good care of it.  Our complex has a pool and a hot tub.  I like to use the hot tub after I’ve been working on the house or in one of the rare instances that I work out.  Because of my crazy work schedule, I’m usually there at night which works for me because I prefer to go when there is no one else there and I can have it all for myself.  However, there is something about this hot tub, something that brings in an interesting assortment of people.  Some of these people don’t even live in the apartment complex but find there way in none the less.  As you have probably guessed, considering this is a hot tub, these people have a bit of sexual deviancy in their character.  This has shocked me as I am a bit of a private person and I don’t understand people that would do things like this in the center of a public living area but to each their own.  Here are three instances that have stood out to me.

1.  I got off of work late and for some insane reason decided to work out.  Thankfully, after a short amount of time I decided to stop the insanity and go sit in the hot tub instead.  I expect to be alone because it is February in Colorado, not to mention, Midnight.  I put on my swimsuit and headphones and when I walk outside I’m surprised to see three other people in the tub.  Oh well, can’t win them all.  The hot tub is pretty big so I get in the other side and lay my head back, turning my music up about as high as it can go.  After a few minutes I lift my head up to make sure that my headphone cord is not in the tub and the three of them are making out and all over each other.  It is a bit of a shock as they are less than four feet from me.  They see that I have noticed and they give me a look like “are you going to get out now?” I had gone through all of the work to put my swimsuit on and walked the whole 100 feet over here.  I lay my head back down and listen to my music for the next twenty minutes.  When I look back up again they are still sitting there, staring at me looking very sad.  I get out and leave them to it.

2.  It is 11pm and I have a hankering for a soda.  I look in the fridge but there is nothing there.  Hmmm, I really want a soda.  I know, there is a soda machine in the hot tub area.  I scrounge together enough change and merrily head off towards the pool area (where the Pepsi machine is).  I walk through the door that faces the hot tub and right in front of me is a couple right in the middle of doing it.  They stop and turn to look at me.  I stare back at them; should I tell them to get out of here, that is a public pool, kids live in the rooms of the windows that surround them.  It wouldn’t make a difference, they are “grown ups” they know all this and didn’t care.  I could go back into the club house…. No, dammit.  I want a soda and no sex crazed maniacs are going to keep me from the Dr. Pepper that is just a short walk away.  I walk over to the soda machine and get my soda, taking a long time to put in my quarters.  On the walk back I see them giving me the stare of death.  I thought about stopping and talking to them, asking them why they were doing this.  How they could have sex in a hot tub.  My wife and I tried to do it in a private tub once and it is extremely uncomfortable.  But, I decided instead to just stare back at them as I slowly walked across the pool area.  I then stared at them as I very slowly closed the door and disappeared.  Silly sex crazed maniacs.

3.  This one was the craziest, all be it, hardest to explain.  This one occurred during the day when I was there with my kids.  They wanted to see what it would be like to go swimming it the rain.  Surprisingly, it was cold so they asked to go to the hot tub for a few minutes before we went home. We got in a I’m wearing a wedding ring and the poor bikini clad girl on the other side did everything short of out-right asking me to be her sugar daddy.  Poor thing, she must be really desperate to be making moves at the community hot tub of a mid-economy apartment complex in a mid-sized city on the front range.  Joke was on her, besides the fact that I don’t want to be a sugar daddy and couldn’t afford it if I did, I didn’t have my glasses on and had rain in my eyes so I could barely make out that she was human shaped.  Silly gold digger.

I write this not to show that apparently the front range is the sex capitol of Colorado, but to ask a simple question.  Why?  Why do I have to put up with these people when all I want is to sit in a hot tub, when all I want is delicious soda, when all I want to do is take my kids to the pool.

I also write this because it proves another point.  I’ve told these stories to other people.  People I know and people I work with and they all think the same thing, that these stories are funny.  I find that interesting.  I am a pretty tough person to annoy, most things just wash over me and don’t think about them much but that is me.  What if an underage kid had walked in, or a woman/man who isn’t as easy going as me.  People get registered as sex offenders for that kind of nonsense.  It is as if sex stories are funny unless someone is affected who doesn’t like it even though the chance is always there.

Humanity cracks me up, myself included.  I laughed as I walked home all three times at what had just happened, but I know that if I had walked into the pool area with my children the first few times I would have been furious.

Porn seems to function the same way.  Everyone views it on the surface and laughs and jokes about it; I’ve laughed about it to.  Should it be that way, should we always have to be shown the downside of things every time before we decide as a group to understand the difference between a joke and willfully ignoring a problem.

Sex is funny and sometimes we take it to seriously.  However, there seems to be an giant gap between what about sex is funny and what is people imposing their will upon others.  Such as having sex in a family area or pretending that most porn videos are not produced with 100% willing participants.

I know that post is not terribly coherent, I just had these thoughts rumbling around my brain and felt like writing them down.  Thanks for reading and I hope you all have a great day.



  1. It’s actually very interesting that you mention porn…but I’ll come back to that. I don’t really think that’s funny either. Kids shouldn’t be exposed to that & I think it is a complete lack of care and consideration for anyone else when you choose to have sex in a public place like that. it’s not like they were at an adult only resort or something similar.. they were in an apartment complex where the likelihood of children walking in is VERY high. They simply did not care, which to me is more sad than funny. It is rare that I’ve found someone (especially a male) that understands the implications of pornography.. You mention human sex trafficking and most people are mortified and think that it is atrocious, but when you mention that MANY trafficked humans are forced into creating pornography, people don’t want to believe it. I don’t know where we got this idea that there are so many people willing to do some of the degrading, painful things in those videos-AND HAVE IT RECORDED for the world to see. Don’t get me wrong, I appreciate people’s choices in regards to how they choose to engage in sex (mostly) but I also know that for MANY of the women in those videos, it is not a choice. If people really took the time to invest in become aware of how prevalent and in what forms sex trafficking actually exists their minds would be blown. Sorry, now I’ve gone off on a tangent on your blog post. Fail!

    • You didn’t go off on a tangent. You were right on the money with what I was thinking. It is funny how humor can sometimes seem to negate or lessen the what is actually happening. As with porn, group think takes the place of humor and everyone has found a way to release some of their darker desires and negate guilt/consequences. I also think there is a flip to this where some parts of culture tend to take sex/nudity to seriously but that is for another time. I personally can’t understand parents who watch porn. Not that parents are held to a higher moral code but knowing where everyone starts, it is hard to understand how we can allow the destination.

      • You are also right in that it can create unrealistic expectations. I think porn has become more normal than not unfortunately. Have you told him how you feel?

      • Yes. We have discussed it, which is why he watches it far less. I wouldn’t know that he did at all had I not seen it on his browsing history when using his phone for something one day. I try not to shame him into a decision because it’s not fair to him. He’s been very patient with the many restrictions/rules/limits I’ve created in regards to physical intimacy, so I try not to really be an asshole about everything. As long as I don’t see it or he never tried to re-enact something that he’s seen (which has only happened once and it was very minor) then I force myself to accept that he’s probably still going to watch it from time to time. Also, I just realized that I used a real name in my last comment. *face palm.* I clearly forgot where I was for a minute. 😶 would you mind deleting the comment for me? It won’t allow me to edit or delete it from my phone. :/ I’m sorry!!

      • I was wondering, It has been deleted. That is great, discussing is the first step, and I agree that shaming is not a way to go, but you are not an as whole for saying what you think.

    • I agree, there is a difference between a hot tub at a private place and one in the middle of a bunch of apartments. People never cease to amaze/humor/weird me 🙂

  2. Great article and you raise some very interesting topics! Human decency and propriety are very important. That doesn’t mean one is a prude–it means, keep private matters private. It feels like we’ve turned our boundaries inside out. I’m not a germ phobe, but I feel like I am becoming one. When I read your story, all I could think of was, yuck. I would not want to share a conversation or their body fluids in the tub.

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